Life is much more than Competition!

“There was no point in living life further,” An UPSC aspirant wrote in his Suicide note after being denied entry to exam hall. Varun Subhash Chandran – a boy with bubbling spirit committed suicide by hanging himself from the ceiling fan.

For his family, Varun had a message in his suicide note, “…There was anyway no point in living this life further. I anyway would just have been a living dead body. What has happened has happened. It would have happened any time anywhere. I know it will be very difficult from now on but not impossible. Just think I never existed.”

The last line, written in capital letters, read, “The more you try to forget me, happier my soul will be.”

He committed suicide not because he was denied entry to exam hall, but he did because he denied an entry to what a 28 years old had dreamt of becoming. He committed suicide for being denied to his parents dreams becoming reality. He committed suicide for being denied to the so called social acceptance that would be granted upon him after clearing this exam.

If your soul is human, you can feel the pain in his writing. It is not only Varun who hanged himself to the adversity of time. There are millions other, whose dreams die too. Out of many appearing for the exam, only a few can make to the list. What about those who really deserve, who dream, who strive hard and still can’t reach to their desired destiny. Should all end up as Varun Did?

UPSC civil services examinations are considered to be country’s top seeded examination that gives you tremendous power with government jobs. But, it is not bigger than life. Life is much more than any competition on this planet earth.

I have the privilege of being owner of a library – Reading Racers Library, Kalol. Every day, I get this opportunity to have a conversation with so many aspirants who try their luck into competitive examinations. Honestly, I am exaggerated with emotions many a times while listening to their struggle stories. How committed aspirants are!

As Varun wrote in his suicide note, many start feeling themselves ‘dead bodies’, once they fail. They have so intense pressure on their minds, that sometimes that becomes unbearable to millions like him. To fail in top class examinations can feel painful, but that entire process gives you so many things. At least we should be thankful to the lessons we learn from this process. Everyone cannot become IAS or IPS. No system in the world can do that. So instead of being disheartened, it is every aspirant’s moral duty to take other responsibilities what life has written on their shoulders.

At least be thankful that you dared to be in the competition. That this process of being in the competition has made you a better person, that this hard work has cultivated in you a better citizen of our country.

The problem is not with aspirants, it is with the system we live in. Given our culture, we regularly become a target of brain wash and propaganda of cultivating a competitive life instead of a meaningful life. This is because a meaningful life requires planning, ownership of our actions and most importantly – responsibility for the consequences of our choices. It can be demanding and often stressful. It is not as accommodating and pleasurable as getting a Government job or becoming an IAS or IPS. It requires patience, to delay our gratification and to think long-term, which is against our nature. At least we feel so.

It should not be only being a class 1 officer or so. It should be all about connecting people to a larger sense of purpose and value, making positive contributions to society and the human civilization as a whole. It is all about giving a sense of constructive direction to the rest of the energy left with you.

As you start living at your edge, your deepest purpose of life will slowly begin to make itself known. You will experience layer after layer of purposes, each one getting closer and closer to the fullness of your deepest purpose. Find it out. Invest your time penetrating each layer of purpose of your existence on this earth. We have heard people saying, “The key is to live the best you can in the present moment.” Indeed. It is to actualize your purpose and mission in the present rather than postponing it into the future. If for example, you want to write a book, engage yourself in that project today. If social work entices you, go and find a noble cause around you. Indulge yourself into what makes you happy, even if it is for only a short time every day. So that before you go to sleep you can say to yourself, “I could have not lived better than this today.”

As you can see working with purpose is never ending journey. It never stops, but purpose always connects you with the present moment and let you dig deeper into yourself to continue finding meaning and purpose.

Each purpose, each mission, is meant to be fully experienced and lived, to the point where it becomes boring, empty and useless. You experience a failure at times. Then it should be discarded - The purpose, not the life.

It is a sign that signals you that you fulfilled one purpose or failed a purpose which was not meant for you and ask you to move to the next project, next mission and next purpose.

Even if you happen to fail, don’t worry…you are not alone. Even Sachin Tendulkar struggled performing up to his capabilities during his era, when it mattered a lot. Though, he is considered to be "God of Cricket”.

To quit is to die. So identify obstacles to performance, and talk about strategies to conquer these obstacles.

In the competitive environment, there are perhaps hundreds of people watching you. You have opponents to face. You have a complex exam pattern that reminds you that each day is precious for you. You have social media and friends with ‘ready to criticize’ attitude with you. You also have well-wishers asking for your current job status. Then you have friends, family, and competitors, judges that tend to act and interact with you differently depending on your results.

But believe me, these differences are not going to go away, so the challenge is to learn how to use your mental strength and manage these distractions.

One of my friends kept her Whatsapp status that reads, “Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.”

True. Take a few minutes to think about how your mind and body should respond to your failure before you prepare yourself for a competition.

Most likely your mind is filled with a multitude of thoughts and images regarding the upcoming competition—they can be positive, productive and supportive…or they can be negative, detrimental and unsupportive.

The good news is the choice is up to you! Find a new way and find your worth.

But Think again, since life is much more than competition!